A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a large week for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

Our first portion pertains to all of us via xojane, the ladies’s site went upwards by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(i am significant) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion falls under the “It Happened if you ask me” feature that also existed at JANE journal and consists mainly of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively interesting private experiences.

The anonymous author of this portion, exactly who I’ll contact “Ariel,” is in fact bisexual, but because she conveniently provides strike tasks to the woman male associates but does not big date or often go lower on ladies, she actually is, she describes, theoretically, merely a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She in addition makes reference to herself as “mostly directly” and “right” at other factors when you look at the narrative.) The woman reputation started, she describes, whenever her first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at her college — transpired on her behalf for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which immediately fled the world fearing her very own incapacity to perform this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such an extended time frame.

She writes:

“obviously, phrase had gotten around that she and I also had hooked up and that I would remaining the lady holding, which in fact had the peculiar effect of offering myself folk-heroine position. Kelly known as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It absolutely was like some kind of flick conceit where the character is seen erroneously as a high profile and reaches ride in a limo and remain in an elegant resort due to it.”

This apparently entirely worked out in her own favor, as she romped about in college starting up with many “aggressive types which had gotten off in the proven fact that I was unwilling to try to let a lady touch me personally.” Post-college, she shifted towards the net, in which she advertised the lady relaxed position and sometimes met with women for NSA intercourse.

Nearby the conclusion she problematically clarifies that when setting up with a woman she’s perhaps not attracted to, she just closes her sight and envisions another person “while [the lesbian] really does her thing.” Sometimes it appears like she wishes females to eat the woman out even though they’re allegedly better at it than the male is. She

could

go down on it but “I’m not internet dating all of them, and that I don’t think i’d want to have my personal fetish corrupted by looking after someone adequate to surrender.”

I’dn’t want to stay near to Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided sexual experiences are consensual and she’s merely telling a genuine story of the woman existence, so I’m not really sure what to make of this (and I also’m interested to understand what you create of it, if such a thing).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Venture
) we have
We Married a Lesbian (and that I’m some guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended receive crushes on a single brand of lady: the star baseball member, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy wondered:

What is it that drew myself oftentimes to women that were same-sex drawn? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male fantasy regarding what these people were performing during sex, also it truly had nothing to do with a macho notion that i possibly could change a gay girl straight.

In components, the portion (which does tred on some stereotypical floor) reminded me personally with this quote from

Girls Across The Street

,
which I cited in a write-up about female manliness
:

“…if we’d to make an added generalization about lesbian taste, it will be that a lot of you tend to be incredibly interested in females, homosexual or straight, gorgeous or perhaps not, who seem as though they could manage on their own.”

The author at some point marries a lesbian whom displayed as straight, and he discovered their own ensuing sexual life getting unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him hit jobs and don’t like entrance but gladly approved his offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless relationship ended in splitting up and a drug relapse (for him), they are apparently caring to his ex-wife’s struggle versus marking her as misleading (as numerous of the commenters perform):

She had result from a traditional family members that would have now been deeply embarrassed to own a homosexual kid. She may will have understood, but did the girl best to hide it, maybe hoping that her emotions might change. Or she might have been like more than a few women i have understood, and only discovered her true intimate identification after currently becoming hitched to a man.

What is redeeming about that article for me that the writer’s conception of his very own gender is mainly without the traditional male posturing any might anticipate in an item similar to this (the guy even refers to himself as “femmy”). Maybe it really seems that way because males very seldom share desiring strong, athletic, strong females with short-hair; but it’s refreshing none the less.

I do not fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their own stories, but it’s really worth discussing that both narratives seem to drive in the idea that bedroom behavior could be the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning sign” the guy missed, whenever penetration is hardly an entirely heterosexual work (it appears more inclined Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with men she didn’t truly want to be with, yet who knows) and slipping in love, eventually, is focused on your own snatch but it’s in addition concerning your heart and it is generally about having passionate thoughts. Those intimate emotions are just what turns a hook-up commitment into a relationship, most likely.

Eventually at

nerve.com

we’ve a nice story directly through the horse’s lips —
My Personal Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I think this is actually the first time the “first-time” series provides highlighted a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth quality, the writer confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian emotions on her, and her closest friend reciprocated, plus they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian union and are however together now and she’s a grown-up during the armed forces!

It seems they will have but to simply take their relationship out from the dresser, in fact it is some puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: works out this story was actually written before DADT ended up being repealed, although it just adopted published, thus there is nothing puzzling going on here. This is simply straight-up sweet in every single means, unequivocally.]

The focus in the part (which will be very pretty and nice) is found on the writer’s advancement of
exactly what lesbian gender is quite
:

We’d never come down on every other, and that I was actually sure that’s what we’d meant when we said we wished to have sexual intercourse. (Now I realize absolutely even more to fucking than licking a lady’s snatch and phoning it each and every day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that many people disagree with what virginity way to a homosexual woman, but virginity is very subjective, and it also actually hinges on whom you’re inquiring. Some individuals might say entrance must be involved, but In my opinion it’s up to anyone losing his / her virginity. Easily feel I’ve missing my personal virginity, after that goddammit, We have!

I invested most of the early morning and afternoon watching wordpress, racking your brains on exactly what point i possibly could create about some of these pieces. I imagined alot about why we’d never ever publish “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” with this site but can not work through the explanation that I would fear 50 people would vow to never return here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would combat together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure until the temperature death of the market. We envisioned someone publishing “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via email and I thought the editorial conference in which we would reach that tale and all sorts of state “NO” additionally.

In on the lookout for a point to gleam from these stories, I’ve made an effort to determine what you’d think or say, and I can’t, and I wish to complete this article quickly to improve the procedure of me discovering what you think about these stories. Yup, the very first time from the time starting Autostraddle, i have had gotten no idea what to state about anything. Very perhaps i will simply want to know — what’s your own reaction to these pieces?